Monday, October 12, 2009

TERMS & TERMS OF ENDEARMENT

Chris will be moving to a new apartment..probably within the next few weeks. He will be in the same block as his Mom & Dad.


He will receive homecare from a consortium of  family members and trained professionals, and attend ongoing therapy at the nearby St. Boniface Hospital. Chris told me that he is on the hurry up and wait program. Naturally he wants to escape living in the fishbowl.



I should probably come clean about the extent of his memory incapacitation...
I am guilty of glossing over how much this stroke has damaged his short term memory. Today I asked him about it.


Chris said that his short term memory is fine and that his long term memory is poor.


However he described, in great detail,  the appearance of an old College friend who found me on Facebook this week,  but asked me three times if I was having Thanksgiving Dinner today.


So I told him that his short term is worrisome and his long term is surprisingly acute. So the fact that Chris has some trouble recognising this reveals a great deal.


Of course he can carry on an intelligent conversation and discuss certain recent events, but at times forgets what was said. This of course does present some serious implications about being on his own to any extent, but the decision has been made, and it wasn't unanimous, that Chris is going to get a chance to try living in his own apartment. 


Chris seems to acknowledge that if this doesn't work out, that for his own safety, he will then move into a personal care home. I suspect that this will become self evident and that it will need to be constantly monitored and re-assessed on a day-to-day basis.


Who is to say that in the near future he won't make strides in rerouting his synaptic pathways. From what I understand many of the professionals have expressed concern that this may very well be as good as it gets....but others keep saying that it is still too early to tell.


I defer to my nagging optimism and choose to believe that Chris is going to give it his best shot. I asked him what he thinks a typical day would be like..he said that he wants to sleep in until 9 and then he will start blogging and maybe watch some TV. Chris said that he thinks that blogging and answering emails will keep him really busy and connected to the outside world.


I asked him again if he had tried reading anything..he said that he was tired of reading because he has been proofreading for a living for 3 decades..I asked him if he can retain what he reads and just sort of nodded. He said why do I need to read when I can watch TV and let someone else do it for me?


I'm fairly certain  that he doesn't grasp the logistics of it all..but I'm a kinetic learner so I know what that sort of existance means..you need to actually do it to figure it out.


Chris deserves a chance to find out, this might not be the perfect time or even a good time but his patience with his present routines  and environment has all but expired..he seems to have focussed on getting out and is losing interest in many of his tasks...at least that is what he told me. You can guess that there is a lot more to his predicament but this is as far as I am willing to discuss the matter.

After my nosey prodding Chris and I joked around for about an hour. He thrives on trash-talkin' me in front of the staff. When an orderly asked if he needed anything Chris replied Yes a new friend because this bozo is such a (bad word) and then he laughs and laughs. Which is great because he has spent decades mercilessly ribbing me.



Chris always called me Goofball or Nerd-Boy and (bad word) as a term of endearment.
It's a guy-thing, I know that he loves me. 
He is an incorrigible tease.


So as soon as I find out when he will be moving I will be sure to document the event. This is another huge step and once again Chris is entering unchartered territory, but considering the past five months, it is a gift...my Thanksgiving Gift. 

15 comments:

Anndi said...

You're a good friend...

eroswings said...

Anndi is right. You really are a good friend...

I look forward to WW's next step in his journey.

savannah said...

y'all are the best pal evah, sugar! xoxoxox

angel said...

This is so awesome and so terrifying!
I hope and pray that Chris will be able to live up to his own expectations.

Laurie said...

I echo what has been said here.

Big hugs to you all...

dherr0401 said...

He's lucky to have you in his life but I'm sure you feel the same way. Best wishes for you both. Time will tell, I guess how it all turns out...never any crystal balls around when you need them;-)

mago said...

Well Chris, about time to move your ass out of that bed!
I really hope you can come to terms with living alone. Take care!

tuti said...

love and friendship lives on forever. i hug you both for going this far. it's a love story already. you're gonna ask me to shuddap before i get too sappy eh. ok.

Liane said...

good morning... pardon the intrusion.. i was 'blog-hopping' and stumbled upon this one... And after reading your recent blog, i wish Chris well and that he will be successful in adjusting and recovery. Best of luck to Chris. And on a side-note.. he must be proud of you too for the kind of friend you are. Friends like you are pretty hard to find... many virtual hugs to the two of you... Liane :-)

zIggI said...

fingers crossed xx

Ms Smack said...

If I had you attached to me, I'd FAKE a long term memory loss personallY!

Just kiddin' mate.

You're a legend and so is your mate!

xx

anna said...

Thank you for being honest about his memory. I'm sure there's a lot more to it than what you've posted, but I'm grateful for the updates you've provided.

My thoughts continue to be with him and I'm sending every positive vibe I've got his way.

I miss him.

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