vicariously chris

CHRIS IS MOVING!

Yesterday when I went to the hospital Chris told me that I should have called ahead first because he might have already been moved to the rehab centre..

don't-cha-know!

That is the power of positive thinking in action.

Chris was in good spirits and he told me that the physio dude is making him walk :) a few steps along the handrail! He said that it was exhausting and I reminded him that a few weeks ago I was excited to see him open his eyes

This just in..here is how his sister described it today:

"I saw him in physio today and it was amazing. He is walking up and down a hallway using a modified walker (Instead of holding the handles with his hands, he leans his forearms on pads that are up to his armpit. His Physio walks behind him and holds the back of his pants for safety, but Chris is definitely doing the walking. He walks up and down the hallway, takes a short 2 minute break and then repeats. Today, he did it four times (back and forth X 4), which is one more time than yesterday."

I am trying to convince him that he needs to have his laptop so that he can receive e-mails from all of his friends..I could enlarge the font and he could even try tapping out a few replies. I'm also still trying to convince him to meet & greet more people which he said he could do when he gets to the rehab centre.

I have no doubt that Chris will be more positive when he gets out of the hospital..here he sees so many people in various states of disrepair come and GO and it drives him crazy because he seems to think that they all get to go home!

His transfer could happen any day now so cross your fingers and toes.

I hope that people forgive me for not posting as often but Chris has stabilized and seems to be making slow/steady progress...good days and bad. I did mention that I wouldn't report on every visit because this could (will) take months and years.

My hope is that Chris will take over blogging about his recovery by Christmas..which might seem far fetched but why not? Besides my conjecture about how he is really feeling/thinking are like shadows on the cave wall.

I would love to know how Chris is following his thoughts down the rabbit hole.

I have witnessed moments of lucidity that overwhelm him, vanish, and reappear.

I miss Chris. He is my talk/rant/tease-about-anything-in-the-world guy. For years we have had weekly meetings where we yak about everything from fears & failures to world politics, religion, and complete utter bullsh*t..do you know how few men have this luxury?

I knew how lucky I was and I never dreamed that I'd lose this. NFW!

I fully expected the two of us to maybe expire earlier than some because of our bad habits, but not for another decade. It's weird but I just assumed that he was going to be my for-sure "constant". It's only been two months but I have really felt the impact of this awful experience..

I know that this sounds selfish but we connected 30 years ago and that's a long time.

Chris and I took turns kicking each other in the ass when we did something stupid BUT we also congratulated and encouraged each other..

and when he patted me on the back it really meant something because I knew that he really cared.

So I want him to come back as far as he can. He is coming to grips with his predicament and I told him that he needs to fight for as long and hard as he can before he can know what his life will be like.

I remind him how amazing it is that we are even having a conversation!

But it is easy for me..I can just stroll off the ward and drive home.

I'm not THERE trying to piece together the enormity of reconstructing my LIFE.

I hope (how many times have I used that word on this blog?) that Chris finds the strength to keep this Sysuphusian ordeal of rolling the damn ball back up the hill. I have tried to imagine what rolls into his head when he wakes up in the morning. He tells me that he still can't believe that this happened..

neither can I..

and I hope that he knows how much we all want him to keep trying. I know that it might never be the same but I don't care.

It was his big heart, easy laugh, and goofy grin that won me over three decades ago. At the core Chris is a big mush who gave more than he took.

How many of "them" do you get to meet in this world?

Newsflash 9pm;

Chris is being transferred to the Rehab Centre Tomorrow Morning!