Wednesday, July 29, 2009

CHRIS IS MOVING!

Yesterday when I went to the hospital Chris told me that I should have called ahead first because he might have already been moved to the rehab centre..


don't-cha-know!
That is the power of positive thinking in action.

Chris was in good spirits and he told me that the physio dude is making him walk :) a few steps along the handrail! He said that it was exhausting and I reminded him that a few weeks ago I was excited to see him open his eyes


This just in..here is how his sister described it today:
"I saw him in physio today and it was amazing. He is walking up and down a hallway using a modified walker (Instead of holding the handles with his hands, he leans his forearms on pads that are up to his armpit. His Physio walks behind him and holds the back of his pants for safety, but Chris is definitely doing the walking. He walks up and down the hallway, takes a short 2 minute break and then repeats. Today, he did it four times (back and forth X 4), which is one more time than yesterday."

I am trying to convince him that he needs to have his laptop so that he can receive e-mails from all of his friends..I could enlarge the font and he could even try tapping out a few replies. I'm also still trying to convince him to meet & greet more people which he said he could do when he gets to the rehab centre.

I have no doubt that Chris will be more positive when he gets out of the hospital..here he sees so many people in various states of disrepair come and GO and it drives him crazy because he seems to think that they all get to go home!

His transfer could happen any day now so cross your fingers and toes.

I hope that people forgive me for not posting as often but Chris has stabilized and seems to be making slow/steady progress...good days and bad. I did mention that I wouldn't report on every visit because this could (will) take months and years.


My hope is that Chris will take over blogging about his recovery by Christmas..which might seem far fetched but why not? Besides my conjecture about how he is really feeling/thinking are like shadows on the cave wall.
I would love to know how Chris is following his thoughts down the rabbit hole.
I have witnessed moments of lucidity that overwhelm him, vanish, and reappear.


I miss Chris. He is my talk/rant/tease-about-anything-in-the-world guy. For years we have had weekly meetings where we yak about everything from fears & failures to world politics, religion, and complete utter bullsh*t..
do you know how few men have this luxury?
I knew how lucky I was and I never dreamed that I'd lose this. NFW!

I fully expected the two of us to maybe expire earlier than some because of our bad habits, but not for another decade. It's weird but I just assumed that he was going to be my for-sure "constant". It's only been two months but I have really felt the impact of this awful experience..
I know that this sounds selfish but we connected 30 years ago and that's a long time.



Chris and I took turns kicking each other in the ass when we did something stupid BUT we also congratulated and encouraged each other..
and when he patted me on the back it really meant something because I knew that he really cared.
So I want him to come back as far as he can. He is coming to grips with his predicament and I told him that he needs to fight for as long and hard as he can before he can know what his life will be like.
I remind him how amazing it is that we are even having a conversation!
But it is easy for me..I can just stroll off the ward and drive home.
I'm not THERE trying to piece together the enormity of reconstructing my LIFE.

I hope (how many times have I used that word on this blog?) that Chris finds the strength to keep this Sysuphusian ordeal of rolling the damn ball back up the hill. I have tried to imagine what rolls into his head when he wakes up in the morning. He tells me that he still can't believe that this happened..
neither can I..
and I hope that he knows how much we all want him to keep trying. I know that it might never be the same but I don't care.

It was his big heart, easy laugh, and goofy grin that won me over three decades ago. At the core Chris is a big mush who gave more than he took.
How many of "them" do you get to meet in this world?

Newsflash 9pm;

Chris is being transferred to the Rehab Centre Tomorrow Morning!

49 comments:

Anonymous said...

Donn,
I work with Chris and have been reading this blog on a regular basis. Thank you.
In this lifetime we will have many associates, and if we are lucky, have one or two people in our lives that we can call a friend. You and Chris are both blessed to have found that.

savannah said...

You're a real pal, sugar! xoxoxo

Leni Qinan said...

This is what I call loyalty!

Gaby said...

Donn you are doing a great job, it's only natural to have these up and down days as you see what your best friend is going through, and at the end of the day being able to get in your car and go home. I think I told you I felt the same things when I was with Jules. Whether you post daily or not, this is still a part of my daily routine now..checking in on 'the boys'

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Donn,

You are right, not many get the wonderful gift of having someone like CHris in our lives. Sometimes we fear it and so we run. Other times we don't understand it and again, we run. But there are those special moments when our eyes are clear and our minds are filled with what he have as friends and family and it is in that moment that we truly appreciate and love the gift.
Chris is special. I knew that the moment I talked to him. Hell. before that. He has this wonderful way of just making you want to be a part of his life. He is a blessing in any manner that you get to experience him. I am with you in that I want him to come as far as he can, but no matter what I want him back. The only word I think of when I see this man is beautiful. Because that is what he is.

And Donn, you are not being selfish, you have proiven to be the most giving person that I know and I know Chris realizes just what he has in you.

I am seinding soft love and praying that he gets moved soon.

Chris...see it, believe in yourself as we believe in you. No rock unturned!

Soft love,
T

moreidlethoughts said...

Just checked in and read the final edit. Good to know this.
Please tell Chris it's just as well 'cos I was about to bake him a fruit cake as added incentive.
Once again, Donn, hugs all'round.

Laurie said...

This is really wonderful news, Donn. Thank you so much for letting us know. Please tell Chris how happy I am to hear that he is making the move to rehab.

It is a hard road you are walking, Donn, it takes a lot of grit and understanding to make the journey with Chris that you are making. You are a true friend in every sense of the word.

eroswings said...

This is great news indeed! Talk about an early Xmas present! He still gets to enjoy summer in a new place, away from the hospital. I'm so glad to hear how well he's doing. Just knowing he is still here gives me great hope. Thanks for the updates, Donn! They are very much appreciated. Way to go, WW!

Inside our hands, outside our hearts said...

Alright Chris!!!!!! The is very exciting news. So happy for you Chris.

Soft love.
T

mistipurple said...

the news keeps getting better.
thank you for the update, donn.
you're a great friend. and then, so is chris.

anna said...

He's been making steady progress since the very beginning and things have been moving rapidly forward for the last little while. This is a huge step forward and I hope it gives him much hope.

Annie Van Bergen said...

Great great news...
you are both very special people

andrea said...

I know this will sound hollow, and you have every right to go through a sort-of grieving process, but remember that "it's better to have loved and lost..."

zIggI said...

GO Chris!
xx

Sienna said...

The next chapters are turning what seems so quick...wonderful on the walking!!

Strength to strength and practice.

I grieve too, for the person that was, things have changed. He would grieve for you too Donn. Just hugs. And congratulations on so much courage and determination...everyone, Chris, family and friends, workmates...blogmates..things get better and better. More challenges, new chapters..

Jayne said...

Hope the transfer goes smoothly for Chris and he doesn't get too worn out with rehab.

mago said...

Very good news! And I bet he'll be writing earlier then Christmas. The flashes of lucidity will steady and connect. He will proove that doctor wrong.

MarmiteToasty said...

Every step is a step forward, it matters not if Chris stumbles back a few steps cos he has the guts and deterination to keep going forward.... and who knows, the bugger might surprise us all :)..... it might never be exactly the same, but I doubt anyone or anything can keep his spirit and love and humour at bay for long......

(((((((Don Chris))))))) know you are loved, please pass my hugs and snogs (maybe not the snogs from you) on to dear Chris and let him know Im thinking of him every day and willing him forward, even if I have to come and shove him from behind......

x

angel said...

I truly hope (there's that word again) that Chris will recover fully and get back to his old self again. Its so reassuring to see little snippets peaking through...
~hugs~~

Anonymous said...

Dear Donn,
You're not being selfish. You've also gone through and continue to go through the "unimaginable" as well.I disagree that "it's easy for me....I can just stroll off the ward and drive home."
Please don't discount the tremendous emotional (and physical) impact your dear friend's circumstances has had and will continue to have on you.
Your feelings, the life changes for you now, are all just as valid as what Chris is going through.

"Valid" does not mean the same. Your life has been changed forever, too, as you well know. I hope you have someone who'll hear you out, someone professional would be best, not because you "can't handle it", but because you are handling too much and I feel you would greatly benefit from impartial ears, from someone listening and caring for whom you don't feel you need to apologize nor worry about that person's reactions or feelings, someone other than friends, because most of us naturally shield "some stuff" or sugarcoat our own feelings when talking to friends, especially about another friend who is in crisis.

(It's why so many spouses, parents, children benefit from counseling in situations like this.)This is said out of caring, not to tell you what to do...so however you are coping with this loss is your business. Yes, Chris IS here, thank goodness, but that big "but" is that he's here differently and that takes a lot of adjustment that is not done instantly nor easily.

Warmly,
Gel

Laura said...

Yes, Donn do take great care of yourself too, as you are coping with alot presently, and alot of loss.

Warm wishes

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