vicariously chris

Yesterday, after 8 weeks of speculating and hoping that Chris would soon be moving on to the new stae of the art Rehab Centre near my residence, We all received a heartbreaking evaluation.

Last night we were told by a Neurologist with 26 years of experience that,

"Chris is unable to make decisions without assistance and guidance and his memory is significantly impaired to the point where he might never be able to live alone."

"Chris requires supervised 24 hour care. The doctor claimed that the MRIs, CTs, and Angio scans show that multiple strokes have damaged numerous areas of the brain which (they tell us) cannot heal."

"This part of the brain manages insight, judgement, reality and memory."

The Doctor is therefore recommending that Chris be transferred to a different facility, which offers long term care and treatment for patients with similar significant brain trauma/stroke injury.

I should add that the Doctor asked Chris "to prove her wrong".

Thank Goodness his sister was with him when he heard this. As you can imagine Chris was devastated. He knows/understands what is going on but I can't tell you if or how much of the enormity of it all registers. According to his sister he was understandably overwhelmed.

I went to see him this morning. I was hoping that we can somehow make something positive out of the fact that he will be getting out of the hospital.

This is depressing, terrible, news but we still need to spin it into something good for Chris to build upon. Chris needs to feel like he is getting ahead and moving forward. I have no doubt that Neurologists are accustomed to being proven wrong on a routine basis...we are talking about the human brain, and if anybody can prove them wrong it will be Chris.

Yesterday morning I was at the hospital (partly to check up on his Mom who is his vigilant guardian angel) and along with one of his sisters, we actually saw Chris standing with his physio! I remember thinking how fantastic it was to see Chris standing up.

This morning I stole him from his Mom and made her take a break. Then I brought him outside..I wanted to see how much of the situation had registered. Once we were alone he asked me to find a way to help him escape. Unfortunately Chris is still convinced that there is a conspiracy to keep him imprisoned.

He is also having some problems with the short term memory loss...which may be a small blessing in disguise because I could distract him by taking him on a half hour stroll of the labyrinth in the hospital. We eventually went back to his ward where he shaved (mostly by himself with an electric razor) and as the Orderly finished the hard to get spots, we joked about keeping a moustache..Chris seemed at ease. For a time I sat with him in front of the bustling Nursing Station and he appeared to be miles away and untroubled by his recent news..

I was afraid to talk and risk breaking his state of temporary tranquility.

Now I am still processing all of this..I want Chris to prove them wrong.. I know that it has only been eight weeks and at the same time it has been over eight weeks!! I suppose I had convinced myself that I wouldn't notice any real change for months as the brain healed? The fact that an experienced medical practioner made such a devastating evaluation of his future quality of life has me puzzled. I had lowered the bar far enough to make allowances for more time so I'm out of sorts now.

This opened up a whole new set of questions and obstacles. We're waiting for more answers. Either way whenever I visit I still need to be as positive as possible and if Chris moves anywhere he will think that he IS making progress right? It will take a while for this to sink in...and my faint hope clause is still in working condition. Maybe that's naive wishful thinking but this isn't over until Chris decides it is...and I am certainly not going to give him a reason to stop trying.

I can't tell by looking at this photo whether it is a Sunrise or a Sunset?

Prove them wrong Chris..go ahead...prove them wrong.